By Mel Blackwood @troubleon8wheels
As I’ve gotten older, my desire to meet like-minded people has become stronger.
I choose to surround myself with people who empower me and I can empower in turn.
I choose to be real with people and not hide parts of myself.
I choose to have deep conversations with people and live in the moment.
I choose to have people in my life who believe in abundance - that there is room for everyone.
I choose people who prefer collaboration over competition.
I choose to be intentional with all my actions, from social media use to what I eat and listen to.
I choose to find a silver lining and view life’s challenges as learning opportunities.
I choose to not be limited or defined by my past and look forward to the future.
I’m finding that by putting out into the world my choices and desires, people can find me, because no one is a mind reader!
It felt very scary to do this at first, because it was such a step away from what I was used to. Saying out loud (or typing it) makes you instantly vulnerable. You feel that the world is judging you. I’ve become better at deciding who’s opinion is important though. Those who judge from behind a screen I have no time for anymore. It has taken a lot of work on myself to stop worrying about this (and other things I cannot control), however if you are only going to pass judgement on others and not show up yourself, I’m not interested in your opinion.
Daily shop conversation:
Shop visitor: Oh this shop is lovely. I used to roller skate when I was a child, but it’s far too risky now.
Me: That’s great. Actually, our wonderful skate community is made up of adults of all shapes, sizes and genders, with the majority who skate with us aged between 30 – 60.
Shop visitor: *visibly surprised* Goodness, really? I’m clumsy enough on my feet, I would fall.
Me: Oh absolutely, everyone falls over, no matter what level of roller skating they reach.
Shop visitor: *backing away* I have [insert ailment here] which would prevent me from joining in.
Me: *thinks about all the folks who come to skate class with fibromyalgia, MS, ME, have an anxiety disorder, neurodivergence, are hearing impaired or need support in another way* Yes, I understand, have a lovely day and thank you for popping in.
I’m not here to convince people that they must try roller skating right now. In fact, my doing so would be quite off putting for some. Instead, I would rather plant a seed and allow them to come to their own conclusion over time. Maybe they will be skate-curious and do some research. Most folks don’t believe that we have new people starting every week, because we don’t post photos or videos from our beginner roller skate class. You just have to come along and experience it for yourself!
If you can't come along though, but would like to try the approach to roller skating I've developed for Roller Girl Gang, you can get the video series here, as part of the Deluxe membership.
So, have you found your people?